Bullshit...

Good things to those who wait. Which genius thought that up? Nothing good come to those who wait. Im convinced that good things arent meant to happen for me. Ive been fighting for everything I have in my life and all that Ive accomplished. And here I am at 25 working a dead end job with no boyfriend and no friends. Im a good person. Yet the universe continues to shit on me. When does it let up? When does all my hard work pay off? When do I get a break from the people in my life hurting me? A person who has everything would tell me life is what you make it. Ok fine, Ive been hesitant to leave my home state, but since I have no fucking reason to be here, Im out. I can be miserable and alone on the beach just as easily as I can sit here in the city miserable and alone. Im done trying to have relationships with people. I manage to fuck it up every time. I try to hard or Im not trying hard enough. And I cant figure out the happy medium the rest of the population has found. So, Ill just be alone from now on. Im alone 90% of the time anyways, does the other 10% make a difference? I wish I knew what I did in a past life to deserve the shit show that is my life right now.

Phone calls and the zoo...

I haven't checked in, in awhile. So I thought I would do the last two months in a nut shell.
    I met a guy. First date was the zoo. Which, by the way, is the best first date ever. Got sick at the zoo with said new boy. For some strange reason, zooboy is still hanging out with me. The twin gave him that nickname. Why you ask, because he is a zoologist major. Nothing too exciting has happened with zooboy yet. We did cuddle, which was awesome. Havent got to get my cuddle on since the end of last year.The other really awesome thing to happen is my grandpa called me. This may seem strange, but my grandpa, my dad's dad, hasnt talked to me since I graduated from high school in 2004. He called to thank me for the Father's Day card I sent him. And Ive talked to him a few times over the last month Thats the good part of the nut shell. The bad, you know that little black rotten spot, my job still sucks and I havent made any head way in the funeral home job search. But I havent let that get me down. And my grandmother, who is the soul of my family, had a mini stroke and scared everyone to death. But she is doing ok now. She had to spend about a day and a half in the hospital, but she is home doing well.

Well, Im really lit right now, so that is all I have for today. Later Peeps.

Stupid questions and radio shows...

I was listening to this radio morning show the other day and they were talking about some show, that I have never heard of, were this guy asks famous people ten questions. He asks the person, then ask the character that person is playing. It was pretty funny. And since Im a dork, I feel the need to answer the questions. Something light hearted for all the shit happening lately. So with further ado, here are the questions.


1. What is your favorite word?
     -Spork. I giggle every time...lol
2. What is your lease favorite word?
     -Its a tie between panties and pussy. Both words are just terrible!
3. What turns you on?
     -Dont judge, but forearms. Nothing on this planet is sexier then a guy with a button up on with the sleeves        rolled up to his elbows showing off his forearms.
4.What turns you off?
     -Messiness. People who are slobs or just dont pick up after themselves. Drives me up the fucking wall like no other.
5. Favorite cuss word?
     -It was twatwaffle (thank you Twitarded ) But now Im thinking its calling someone a Dick-hole. *giggle*
6. What is your lease favorite cuss word?
      -Cunt is the first word to pop into my head.
7. What sound do you love?
      -Wind chimes
8. What is your lease favorite sound?
     -Silence. I can not stand silence. It freaks me the fuck out. To the point of driving me completely fucking insane.
9. What job would you love to try?
    -High jacking high dollar cars. Dont ask, I watch a lot of tv and it looks like fun.
10. What job would you hate to try?
     -Any job that involves public speaking. *gag*

That is all for today.

When it rains, it pours...

Where to begin today. I drove home yesterday to celebrate my niece's birthday. I cant believe she is four already. Talk about feeling old. She had a blast. She got a lot of toys and cake and ice cream. She even got a princess pinata. Which was fun to watch her hit.


Im driving back to my apartment last night and what happens? I explode a tire. To the normal person, this would be unexpected. To me, this makes tire number 13 that Ive had explode on me. And when I say explode, I mean the tire is in shreds. So at 11 o'clock Im on the shoulder of a major highway changing my tire. And Im racing against the monsoon of rain that had been chasing me the entire way home, Im also in a skirt and flip flops. So you can imagine how happy I was last night. But I did it, and with help from no one. I was worried for a minute there last night though. I couldnt get the fucking bolts to loosen. I was standing and bouncing on the tire iron. And it still took forever to loosen. But I changed the tire all by myself. Im very proud of myself, even in my anger towards the whole situation. And now I get to spend my Sunday trying to find a tire that isnt going to cost me a fortune. Im not having any luck with that though. Which doesnt surprise me because when it rains, it fucking pours. And its normally pour straight shit. 

Spoons, Footballs, and Terrible Movies...

So, I went on a date last night. Turns out the guy I met online turned out to not be a psycho killer. Which I'm grateful for. I actually had a really great time, which I wasn't expecting at all. I always expect the worse thing to happen. Which I know is an unhealthy way of thinking, but I cant help it. 

Anyways, back to the date. We went to see a movie called The Room at this little hippy theater. Holy shit, I don't think Ive ever laughed so hard in my life. The Room was a god awful movie but its one of those its so awful its funny movies. And it has a series cult following. Every time there was a picture of a spoon on the screen the people in the theater threw spoons at the screen. Which happened more then one would think. I was impressed they didn't run out of plastic spoons. Then every time the characters would throw a football, people in the crowd yelled football break and got up and started throwing the football. I have never experienced anything like that and it was fucking awesome. The people in the crowd, which was surprising large since it was an 11:30 p.m. showing, yelled through the whole movie. The crowd really made the movie.  

                                      Looks like an Oscar winner doesn't it...


I'm really hoping for a second date. The guy, who we''ll call Mr. M., was a really nice guy. And very good looking in my book. It was worth being nervous as fuck all day yesterday. And now I'm being a total girl and cant stop smiling. How lame is that? What me never hear from Mr. M. again. That will make me very sad. The question is do I contact him first or wait for him to contact me? I don't know the dating rules. I haven't been apart of the dating world in like eight years. Hell even before that I wasn't apart of the dating world. Anti-social and dating don't really mix that well. Go figure.


That is all for today. Back to the Harry Potter Weekend.

Being Nice is Overrated...

I wish I wasnt so nice. (Read, I wish I was mean.) I cant be mean to anyone, ever. Even when people do terrible things to me, I cant do or say anything mean to them. Normally this really isnt an issue, but because Im so fucking nice, I now have a guy who  wont leave me the fuck alone. I went out on one date with this guy and now he texts me every single day. He is clingy and is always asking if I am mad at him. There are very few things that make me go from happy to completely pissed off in 2.5 seconds, asking me if I mad at you is one of them. I want to tell this guy to stop acting like a high school girl and leave me the fuck alone, but I cant. I dont know why Im like this. I cant wait for the day when something finally breaks the flood gates and mean just comes shooting out of my mouth. And its not like Im afraid of speaking my mind, I just cant stand making someone feel bad. Making someone feel bad makes me feel 100 times worse. Why cant people just take a hint.

On a more upbeat note, I meet a guy. I'm very conflicted about this, however. I meet him on a dating website. He seems like a great guy. I'm very on the fence about online dating. Part of me thinks its for lazy people or crazy serial killers. I watch way too much crime t.v. for my own good. But the other part thinks its great. So of course, part of me is happy I met a good looking guy, while the other part of me is in constant wonder. Wondering why a good looking guy cant find a date the old fashion way. Wondering if he is a serial killer who meets girls online to later cut them up and hide them in the walls of his house. I also watch way too many scary movies. I just don't know where to go from here. Do I meet the guy, who Ive made a serial killer in my head, or let it go? Or am I just fucking crazy and reading too much into the situation? Its probably that. But is it a bad thing I'm so caution? Fuck, I don't know. I need help.

Popping the blogger cherry...

Hello all. My name is Penny. Im starting this blog in hopes that putting my life on paper, well you know what I mean, will help me find myself. Im 25 and Im lost. I know a lot of people my age are lost too, so at least Im not alone in this shitty feeling. Like many people my age, I am a proud owner of a Bachelor's Degree. Yet, like many people my age, I have a shit job. So I spent a TON of money on a piece of paper Im not even using. What's my piece of paper in you ask? Its a degree in mortuary science. For those who dont know what that is, I have a degree in funeral directoring/embalming. And I would give anything to work in that field. But sadly we are in a recession, and even the funeral business isnt immune. That and most of the funeral homes are run by old guys who grew up in the 50's and think women should be in the kitchen. Fuckers. I have a lot of anger and resentment on this topic. Any-who, Im sure Ill say things on here that arent politically correct or even all that nice, but I dont say these things to offend. I also cuss like a sailor. I blame that on my mother. She can make a truck driver blush with her mouth. Lets call her Mommypen.

I came from a pretty good home. We weren't rich, but we weren't really poor either. Ive got 5 siblings, so money was tight most of the time. We'll name them as they come up.

I think that covers the basics. I hope by doing this, I either find my path or at least get within seeing distance of it.