I wish I wasnt so nice. (Read, I wish I was mean.) I cant be mean to anyone, ever. Even when people do terrible things to me, I cant do or say anything mean to them. Normally this really isnt an issue, but because Im so fucking nice, I now have a guy who wont leave me the fuck alone. I went out on one date with this guy and now he texts me every single day. He is clingy and is always asking if I am mad at him. There are very few things that make me go from happy to completely pissed off in 2.5 seconds, asking me if I mad at you is one of them. I want to tell this guy to stop acting like a high school girl and leave me the fuck alone, but I cant. I dont know why Im like this. I cant wait for the day when something finally breaks the flood gates and mean just comes shooting out of my mouth. And its not like Im afraid of speaking my mind, I just cant stand making someone feel bad. Making someone feel bad makes me feel 100 times worse. Why cant people just take a hint.
On a more upbeat note, I meet a guy. I'm very conflicted about this, however. I meet him on a dating website. He seems like a great guy. I'm very on the fence about online dating. Part of me thinks its for lazy people or crazy serial killers. I watch way too much crime t.v. for my own good. But the other part thinks its great. So of course, part of me is happy I met a good looking guy, while the other part of me is in constant wonder. Wondering why a good looking guy cant find a date the old fashion way. Wondering if he is a serial killer who meets girls online to later cut them up and hide them in the walls of his house. I also watch way too many scary movies. I just don't know where to go from here. Do I meet the guy, who Ive made a serial killer in my head, or let it go? Or am I just fucking crazy and reading too much into the situation? Its probably that. But is it a bad thing I'm so caution? Fuck, I don't know. I need help.
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